soopastryheart

I understand this could be the most self-serving cop out ever, using my own material as a “pick me up.” But hey, I’m allowed to feel good about the crap I write every once in awhile. Consider this, then, as Flashback Friday, where I introduce past pieces. After rereading a couple of old entries and rediscovering this one from 2011, I realized that ultimately, 1 and 10 have become the ruler in which I truly measure a man.

Originally posted October 26, 2011:

Honie and I have what we simply and aptly call, our Rules. It started out, like many things, an inside joke about boys we would never date: a guy driving a yellow car or one who thinks baggy cargo shorts are a good look. She’s too young to understand (or appreciate) it now, but with her budding teenagehood comes the inevitable stages of liking boys (much to Ki’s chagrin). Through first butterflies and awkward flirting, I know that Honie has begun to piece together qualities and traits she values the most in the opposite sex, setting the precedent for the rest of her dating life.

And thinking about Honie’s introduction to romance got me thinking about how my own preferences have aged and adapted over the years. After observing some male behaviors recently, it occurred to me what it really meant to be a man. Obvious anatomy aside, it takes much more to be classified as one, at least to me. It not about the impressive salary and flashy things he may own; any goon with a few bucks can buy expensive things. The true character of a man is in the intangible qualities, ones that can’t be bought, traded, or bargained. It’s in the minute details of his actions, like the way he treats his enemies, as well as his allies.

What else?

1. Loyalty. Without it, a man is nothing.

2. Men eat. Heartily. Unapologetically.

3. A man acknowledges his flaws but refuses to accept them. He works to improve them, despite knowing the futility in his efforts. He carries humility in his pocket, always.

4. A man knows the often blurred yet discernible distinction of being ambitious and determined, with being selfish and cunning. You can be ruthless and compassionate. You can be maniacally driven to succeed without sacrificing integrity. At no point in his endeavors will he expose himself to the possibility of being called a weasel.

5. Men understand the modern rules of chivalry* (giving up the remote, removing the nasty hair gunk from the shower drain, etc.) and practice them. They do not complain about this shit.

*Other forms of chivalry, restaurant edition.

6. His appearance is never sloppy, because a man gets his shit tailored.

7. A man is generous, with both his time and fortune.

8. Respect: contrary to popular belief, men do not demand it. They earn it.

9. Alpha men are undeniably distinguished as such because they have a spine. Made of steel. Men of this caliber represent nobility, man. And they know it takes more than an intimidating stature and status to be called one.

10. Conviction. With it, a man is everything.