Friday Afternoon Pick Me Up
April 27, 2012 § Leave a comment
My Relationship With My Mother
Sugar and salt
Fresh or frozen
Denser than ordinary
Make up, freeze, thaw for a bit
Set aside
Sift together
Quickly mix
Do not fold
Sit for one hour, overnight
Sit until bubbles begin to break through
Until all is used up
You can keep these for days, or for up to months
– Gianna, from New York Times Found Poem Favorite
“It’s a beautiful night, we’re looking for something dumb to do, hey baby I think I wanna marry you”
April 25, 2012 § Leave a comment
Wedding season has been well underway, evidenced by the growing number of save-the-dates and invitations that have accumulated on our mail pile. It seems like every other weekend a new couple posts engagement photos on Facebook or announces the happy news.
But somewhere in the midst of RSVPs and remembering the registry last minute (desperately trying to avoid being the one to buy the happy couple a spatula), to taking advantage of the open bar and/or posing regrettably in the photo booth, it has become abundantly clear that common sense isn’t always common sense when it comes to wedding festivities. So in case you need a refresher course in matrimony etiquette:
1. Unless you happen to know that the event is accommodating children (kids’ table, daycare, etc.), find a sitter for your brats. Don’t assume that your children can be part of your RSVP.
2. In fact, don’t assume that the RSVP is for anyone but you and your date (if you are allowed one). Weddings and receptions are notoriously expensive, and it’s mind numbingly rude if you bring your entire family of seven expecting a table.
3. Don’t bully the wedding party or ask to be the exception. It’s unfair to everyone else and it’s unfair to guilt the bride/groom.
4. Stick to the registry. If it’s miraculously complete, a check or giftcard is appropriate. Do not go rogue and think that romantic DVDs or cleaning supplies are adequate gifts. There’s a reason why they didn’t ask for it in the first place.
5. Ladies: no matter how casual the wedding, your Vegas party clothes will never be appropriate for anywhere else than Vegas. If you have to ask, “Is this too short?” IT IS.
6. Gentlemen: Jeans and nuptials is a big ass no. I don’t care if it’s in a backyard.
7. It kills me that I have to say it at all, but I always see at least one: DON’T WEAR ALL WHITE. No matter how “modern” or “new-age” you think you are, this shit is exclusive to the bride.
8. You are not a wedding reviewer. You are no bridal fashion expert or food critic. As far as the bride and groom are concerned, this ceremony is the most beautiful you’ve ever seen and every choice they have made is perfect. You will hold your damn tongue and reserve any judgment for the car ride home.
9. Weddings ceremonies are supposed to be composed, elegant, and even a bit stoic. The reception is not. The reception is the time to party, time to loosen those ties a bit (never should you wear it as a headband). Have a few drinks. But never to a point where you’re ralphing in the bushes or groping the mother of the bride.
10. It has occurred to me that an overwhelming number of you now own DSLRs. I get it too: they take nicer photos. But for the love of god, let the professional do his/her job and stay out of his/her way.
11. If you are single/dateless and someone asks you to dance, the answer is always, always yes.
Lyrical Lessons
April 19, 2012 § Leave a comment
“Jolene” – Ray LaMontagne
Sometimes, you need people to be your nine-pound hammers. And sometimes, you realize you’ve become theirs.
One of my all-time favorite songs.
Friday Afternoon Pick Me Up
April 6, 2012 § Leave a comment
It’s all very confusing. One of my problems it that I mix up love and pity. I can’t really distinguish the two, but maybe they do go hand in hand, because as soon as you love someone, you don’t want them to feel pain. But you know they will. You see the tenuous illusions they surround themselves with to keep going, how easily they could be hurt and crushed, and so you pity them, in the same way that deep down you pity yourself for the very same reasons.
– excerpt from Wake Up, Sir! by Jonathan Ames
I’d like to think I can distinguish the difference.
“I don’t have much money, but boy if I did, I’d buy a big house where we both could live”
April 4, 2012 § Leave a comment
When the boyfriend and I decided to move in to a larger place together, it took months before we found a place that offered everything we were looking for. Prior, I was living in a place that was 435 square feet (with a walk-in closet, no less), and he was renting a room in a friend’s townhouse. Neither of us had any real furniture (my place came furnished), so the thought of furnishing a place that was a whopping 1350 square feet was needless to say, a bit daunting.
But we were nonetheless excited; this was the first place for both of us to call our own – meaning that everything we brought in would be our choice, our preferences, our reflections and styles.
However, finding furniture wasn’t as easy (or enjoyable) as we had thought it’d be. A part of me secretly had hoped he was the type to leave all the interior design to his girl, but the boyfriend was revealed to be quite the furniture and design enthusiast. We had differences in everything from style, color, and price range (I had no idea couches could cost so damn much).
What I Wanted:
Vintage/Parisian/ Femininity Extreme
What He Wanted:
Mid-century modern/Lime/Rugged classics
After some research, compromise (I agreed I would not let our place become a cottage that Anthropologie’s designed, he dropped his wanting a lime green color scheme), and a generous contribution from my parents, we came to a set that we were both happy with, one that nicely reflects our mid-century modern preferences with our unshakable sense of practicality.
What we agreed on:
Charcoal set from Crate and Barrel, which we got for 15% off during the upholstery sale.
In truth however, we fell in love with a set from Couch Seattle, one that looks remarkably identical to the ones we got, but in the perfect heather gray tweed (it was exactly what we had both envisioned). And though the custom order had similar price range, the minimum 10-12 weeks it would take to complete was too much to bear, as we couldn’t imagine going two months in an empty living room.
How it looks:
What I love most about our place is that when you look around, the individual elements of who we are distinctly clear, like my teacup collection, his bar, right down to the books we have on our shelves (mine: essay anthologies, shitload of fiction, Russian lit, etc. his: biographies, business, nonfiction, poker?). But then there are elements that came together in a collaborative effort, like the DIY chalkboards that Boyfriend graciously built, painted, and hung, a neutral shag rug that I virtually live on, and a giant tray we use in lieu of a proper coffee table. We’ve been especially slow with the art on our walls, because we want them to be thoughtful, not just a mass-produced fixture (in fact, the only one we really have up is a photograph of a deconstructed typewriter, a gift from a friend).
By no means are we complete in our interior design quest (we’re still using file boxes as bedstands in the bedroom), but with the most essential items in place (including a pressure rice cooker, like any respectable Asian household), we’re having fun taking our time to find things we like. We’d rather be patient and find something truly unique to us rather than buy everything off a page in a catalog (though it’s pretty tempting once in awhile). But the important part is that this doesn’t feel like a place for two people to be playing house.
It feels like a home.




