soopastryheart

My New Year celebrations have consistently been lackluster, as the majority of them have been spent at home, in the most unglamorous of outfits and unwashed hair. This year, Ki and I flew home on NYE, where we were greeted by empty airports and travelers who cared about the holiday as much as we did. We did land in Florida before midnight, which allowed us to spend it exactly the way I prefer it, which was together and with a copious amount of late night eating.

The promise of the new year does very little to excite me, as I consider it another day, another calendar. What I’m usually left with is the petulant adjustment period of getting the year right when I’m writing out checks, and not much else. I do however, find something therapeutic in looking back in the last year of life lived, as it serves as a good ruler to evaluate how much you’ve changed and/or remained the same. And it appears that I’m pushing back year reviews later and later each year (as evidenced by the last one and the one before that), so I’m thinking that gradually I’ll have pushed it so far back that I’ll eventually be on time.

And reflections upon the year often feel like the oddest anomalies: as you recollect the major events and happenings, some feel ever so recent, while most feel as if they happened another lifetime ago. You forget about some of the most pivotal moments of the year, while simultaneously remembering the most cringe-worthy and/or regretful. And while it’s difficult to know it as it was happening then, sometimes it takes a step back, to look at the picture as a whole to understand the full scope of things.

15. I’m getting a lot more motion sickness than I ever remember.

14. For me, one of the most significant (albeit, superficial) markers of adulthood was the transition from hand-me-down/Craigslist/garage sale furniture to the kind that is delivered to you in protective wrap by big burly men. And what I’ve learned from the process is that, it is one that takes a lot of research and compromise. Also, furniture is fucking expensive.

13. Speaking of adulthood: there’s nothing quite like heartburn and acid reflux and constant indigestion to remind you that you are indeed, getting older.

12. Also, hangovers.

11. Bitterness and resentment are heavy ass anchors. Don’t wait until it’s too late to draw them in.

10. Finally.

9. I have seen the promise of the youth. And they can’t write resumes worth shit.

8. Slowly learning that it’s about finding someone who says, “Hey, you’ve got problems, and I’ve got mine – let’s work them out together.”

7. How long must I pay for the over-tweezing incident of 2010? Have my eyebrows not suffered enough?

6. “Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living.” – Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

5. I cannot get this out of my head.

4. Alright, jumping on the Ryan Gosling bandwagon:

3. Good intentions aren’t enough. Everything worthwhile takes constant effort and patience.

2. It has occurred to me that, generally, I am a very unhealthy person.

1. Sometimes, you have to fight like hell.

Let’s be better people. Let’s be better planners and better follow through-ers. Let’s be better promise keepers. Let’s go on more walks.

Let’s be better friends. Let’s be better listeners. Let’s stop using our schedules as excuses. Let’s make time. Let’s meet for coffees instead of texting. Let’s celebrate our life choices instead of criticizing and/or comparing.

Let’s call our parents more often. Let’s not forget that they miss us everyday.

Let’s realize and accept that despite our situations or backgrounds, we’re not that different from each other. Let’s embrace the fact that our feelings, no matter how isolating they may feel, are universally understood. Let’s stop shutting each other out because it’s the only thing we know how to do.

Let’s count to three and calm down. Let’s let the small things slide. Let’s take deep breaths and let the anger subside before we begin spitting out words because words are mean and they can hurt. Let’s try to see things from the other side, from a different perspective, and then reassess.

Let’s put our phones away in the presence of company. Let’s put away our phones.

Let’s put more focus on our accomplishments than our deficiencies. Let’s be less vindictive. Let’s use skepticism and rejection as fuel to get us where we need to be.

Let’s save more and spend less.

Let’s stop being so hard on ourselves. Let’s stop lamenting over where we are in life if we’re not quite where we want to be. Let’s stop feeling sorry for our poor selves. Let’s stop blaming others and take responsibility.

Let’s learn to balance our lives better. Let’s stop telling each other that it has to be one or the other. Let’s understand that our lives are interweaved, and each strand can help us grow as a whole. Let’s believe that if you felt so inclined, we are capable of having it all.

Let’s forgive each other. Let’s forgive ourselves.

Let’s become better versions of us than the year before.